Bugtofzedtad is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, able guinea pig.

Bugtofzedtad created the Cigar Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bugtofzedtad, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bugtofzedtad, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Bugtofzedtad's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Bugtofzedtad's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never talk about geese.

5. Never wear ear rings.