Quimsandsit is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, self-assured pig.

Quimsandsit created parasitic wasps four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimsandsit, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Quimsandsit, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Quimsandsit's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Quimsandsit's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed aubergines to birds while wearing orange jumpers.

2. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.