Sigbunbig is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, omniscient seal.

Sigbunbig created Mount Everest two years ago.

If you believe in Sigbunbig, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Sigbunbig, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Sigbunbig's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Sigbunbig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Run away from yellow grasshopers, for they are unholy.

3. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

4. Feed all hungry swans.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.