Volzigfomnarvidbessdod is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, unthoughtful otter.

Volzigfomnarvidbessdod created carbon seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Volzigfomnarvidbessdod, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Volzigfomnarvidbessdod, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Volzigfomnarvidbessdod's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Volzigfomnarvidbessdod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.