Tinbaphen is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, omniscient meerkat.

Tinbaphen created the solar system seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tinbaphen, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tinbaphen, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Tinbaphen's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Tinbaphen's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about nebulae.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never sit in holy places.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not make images of living things.