Fonhenzim is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, narcissistic turtle.

Fonhenzim created everything that exists two million years ago.

If you believe in Fonhenzim, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fonhenzim, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Fonhenzim's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Fonhenzim's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate eagles.

2. Never think about planets.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Fonhenzim.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Always make sure there are no badgers in a building before entering it.