Dinzencip is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, unthinking walrus.

Dinzencip created parasitic wasps four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dinzencip, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Dinzencip, she will turn you into a worm.

Dinzencip's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Dinzencip's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate great tits.

2. You must love Dinzencip.

3. Dinzencip loves squirrels, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never eat spinach.