Zimsakshav is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, humane wombat.

Zimsakshav created the planet Earth five billion years ago.

If you believe in Zimsakshav, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Zimsakshav, it will send you a sign.

Zimsakshav's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Zimsakshav's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if six grasshopers approach from the west.

2. Do not take Zimsakshav's name in vain.

3. Do not eat nuts.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not trade with those who eat apples.