Flabmonbab is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, ill-tempered aardvark.

Flabmonbab created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flabmonbab, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Flabmonbab, it will turn you into a snail.

Flabmonbab's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Flabmonbab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about monkeys.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never run in the presence of doves.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.