Quafbimyatt is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, irritating hippopotamus.

Quafbimyatt created a Higgs boson three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quafbimyatt, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Quafbimyatt, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Quafbimyatt's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Quafbimyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Quafbimyatt.

4. Never go into indigo rooms.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.