Fotstafsasdag is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, able skunk.

Fotstafsasdag created the Sun seven million years ago.

If you believe in Fotstafsasdag, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Fotstafsasdag, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Fotstafsasdag's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Fotstafsasdag's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. You must pray to Fotstafsasdag seven times a day.

3. Never eat bananas.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Always help sick nematodes.