Linmaplim is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, bad-tempered lobster.

Linmaplim created vertebrates two million years ago.

If you believe in Linmaplim, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Linmaplim, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Linmaplim's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Linmaplim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear orange clothing.

2. Seals are not to be trusted.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not wear nickel on your body.

5. Do not listen to music.