Bitfubwip is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, boastful jaguar.

Bitfubwip created silver six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bitfubwip, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bitfubwip, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Bitfubwip's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Bitfubwip's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from turquoise hamsters, for they are unholy.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Bitfubwip loves moths, so they must be respected.

5. Always help sick snails.