Hasgamfonquimbapbedbadzod is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, almighty bird.

Hasgamfonquimbapbedbadzod created dark matter nine million years ago.

If you believe in Hasgamfonquimbapbedbadzod, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Hasgamfonquimbapbedbadzod, he will turn you into a dog.

Hasgamfonquimbapbedbadzod's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Hasgamfonquimbapbedbadzod's Holy Commandments

1. Erect seven gold sculptures of Hasgamfonquimbapbedbadzod on top of important buildings.

2. Run away from purple snakes, for they are unholy.

3. Worship no other gods but Hasgamfonquimbapbedbadzod.

4. Do not take Hasgamfonquimbapbedbadzod's name in vain.

5. Never think ill of sick dogs.