Faglipvin is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, quiet newt.

Faglipvin created everything that exists three million years ago.

If you believe in Faglipvin, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Faglipvin, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Faglipvin's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Faglipvin's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.

2. Hide from turquoise porpoises for they are unholy.

3. Never talk about comets.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never play with disobedient children.