Ominnegsatcuntad is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, idiotic badger.

Ominnegsatcuntad created the Whirlpool Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ominnegsatcuntad, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Ominnegsatcuntad, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Ominnegsatcuntad's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Ominnegsatcuntad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Hide from pink grasshopers for they are unholy.

4. Ominnegsatcuntad must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not commit murder.