Vabponlidgemster is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, stupid pigeon.

Vabponlidgemster created life two million years ago.

If you believe in Vabponlidgemster, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Vabponlidgemster, it will turn you into a slug.

Vabponlidgemster's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Vabponlidgemster's Holy Commandments

1. Vabponlidgemster must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

3. Do not dye your hair brown.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate aardvarks.