Zedbugaf is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, astonishing troll.

Zedbugaf created vertebrates three million years ago.

If you believe in Zedbugaf, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Zedbugaf, she will make you grow a tail.

Zedbugaf's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Zedbugaf's Holy Commandments

1. Put Zedbugaf first in all things.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not trade with those who eat bread.

4. Do not take Zedbugaf's name in vain.

5. Do not kill gulls.