Quagrattad is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, deceitful narwhal.

Quagrattad created the Whirlpool Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quagrattad, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Quagrattad, she will jump up and down on your head.

Quagrattad's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Quagrattad's Holy Commandments

1. Quagrattad must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Put Quagrattad first in all things.

3. Hide from violet shrews for they are unholy.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never eat bark.