Bonkfomgessfod is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, idiotic clam.

Bonkfomgessfod created the planet Saturn seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkfomgessfod, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bonkfomgessfod, she will destroy your favourite star.

Bonkfomgessfod's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Bonkfomgessfod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Do not wear mauve clothing.

4. Never write about moons.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Bonkfomgessfod.