Farfed Paknar Mumvinfig is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, quiet gerbil.

Farfed Paknar Mumvinfig created the planet Saturn seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Farfed Paknar Mumvinfig, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Farfed Paknar Mumvinfig, he will turn you into a mouse.

Farfed Paknar Mumvinfig's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Farfed Paknar Mumvinfig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Run away from green dolphins, for they are unholy.

4. Do not kill manatees.

5. Do not eat cherries.