Jongamweg is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, almighty lobster.

Jongamweg created light twelve years ago.

If you believe in Jongamweg, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Jongamweg, he will turn you into a plant.

Jongamweg's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Jongamweg's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Always make sure there are no gulls in a room before entering it.

3. Never run in the presence of mites.

4. Geese are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never think about planets.