Tafpomsug Xuckwip is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, ill-tempered jaguar.

Tafpomsug Xuckwip created the Tadpole Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tafpomsug Xuckwip, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tafpomsug Xuckwip, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Tafpomsug Xuckwip's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Tafpomsug Xuckwip's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Tafpomsug Xuckwip on top of all buildings.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Always pray immersed in water.