Hamcusszog is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, stupid raccoon.

Hamcusszog created snails seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Hamcusszog, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Hamcusszog, he will be mildly annoyed.

Hamcusszog's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Hamcusszog's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Hamcusszog.

2. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Hamcusszog on top of all buildings.

3. Never run in the presence of voles.

4. Never wear shoes.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.