Vabwadraw is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, witless meerkat.

Vabwadraw created bats eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vabwadraw, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Vabwadraw, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Vabwadraw's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Vabwadraw's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sheep in need.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Never hurt sharks.

4. Hide from white turtles for they are unholy.

5. Never paint your face purple.