Met is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, omnipotent dolphin.

Met created the cosmos nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Met, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Met, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Met's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Met's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

2. Never think about cell theory.

3. Met loves moths, so they must be honoured.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never look at galaxies.