Largdiss Bafsafvol is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, prudent porpoise.

Largdiss Bafsafvol created dark energy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Largdiss Bafsafvol, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Largdiss Bafsafvol, she will come to you in dreams.

Largdiss Bafsafvol's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Largdiss Bafsafvol's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Always wear brown.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate whales.

5. Do not chop down trees.