Lakbassbass is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, fast mink.

Lakbassbass created the Milkyway seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Lakbassbass, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Lakbassbass, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Lakbassbass' most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Lakbassbass' Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never eat onions.

3. Lakbassbass loves great tits, so they must be honoured.

4. Never think about planets.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.