Kopwoddit is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, idiotic tapir.

Kopwoddit created the Virgo Supercluster six million years ago.

If you believe in Kopwoddit, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Kopwoddit, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Kopwoddit's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Kopwoddit's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. You must pray to Kopwoddit three times a day.

3. Do not dye your hair gray.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate manatees.