Volbombeg is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, tiresome jaguar.

Volbombeg created an atom seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Volbombeg, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Volbombeg, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Volbombeg's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Volbombeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

2. Do not hurt sharks.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Erect four lead sculptures of Volbombeg on top of important buildings.

5. Never look at galaxies.