Vagbenyok is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, humane gerbil.

Vagbenyok created the Cigar Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Vagbenyok, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Vagbenyok, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Vagbenyok's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Vagbenyok's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Vagbenyok's name in vain.

2. Always wear yellow.

3. Retreat if nine turtles approach from the west.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not skip in public.