Arfgamvil is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, quiet wombat.

Arfgamvil created a quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arfgamvil, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Arfgamvil, he will remove you from existence.

Arfgamvil's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Arfgamvil's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Arfgamvil.

2. You must never eat bread.

3. Never feed carrots to hamsters while wearing brown stockings.

4. Always help badgers in need.

5. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.