Pasgarloopcapparktarp is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, witty zebra.

Pasgarloopcapparktarp created a top quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pasgarloopcapparktarp, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Pasgarloopcapparktarp, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Pasgarloopcapparktarp's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Pasgarloopcapparktarp's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

2. Never mention ants.

3. Always help badgers in need.

4. Never paint your head violet.

5. Do not hurt shrews.