Nurlzenmon Haptargkop Pogjigfar is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, grumpy ant.

Nurlzenmon Haptargkop Pogjigfar created the Tadpole Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlzenmon Haptargkop Pogjigfar, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Nurlzenmon Haptargkop Pogjigfar, she will jump up and down on your head.

Nurlzenmon Haptargkop Pogjigfar's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Nurlzenmon Haptargkop Pogjigfar's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick turtles.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not dye your hair indigo.

4. Always make sure there are no mites in a building before entering it.

5. Put Nurlzenmon Haptargkop Pogjigfar first in all things.