Kikfunged is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, tiresome porpoise.

Kikfunged created a photon nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kikfunged, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Kikfunged, she will be very sad.

Kikfunged's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Kikfunged's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never look at planets.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Feed all hungry snakes.