Cadgudnarl is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, loving monkey.

Cadgudnarl created an up quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cadgudnarl, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cadgudnarl, he will curse you with boils.

Cadgudnarl's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Cadgudnarl's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ants.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Do not wear pink clothing.