Nabtinwab is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, pitiless pigeon.

Nabtinwab created a strange quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nabtinwab, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Nabtinwab, it will turn you into a hamster.

Nabtinwab's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Nabtinwab's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never sing near horses.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never laugh in the presence of nematodes.

5. Do not stand on grass.