Tonkcibwee Larpwonnillgumflapzakrill is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, blissful yak.

Tonkcibwee Larpwonnillgumflapzakrill created the planet Venus eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonkcibwee Larpwonnillgumflapzakrill, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tonkcibwee Larpwonnillgumflapzakrill, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Tonkcibwee Larpwonnillgumflapzakrill's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Tonkcibwee Larpwonnillgumflapzakrill's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about amino acids.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Hide if three bats approach from the east.

4. Never eat grapes.

5. Seals are unholy and should not be approached.