Ontxenven is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, calm shrew.

Ontxenven created the Small Magellanic Cloud eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ontxenven, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Ontxenven, he will curse you with boils.

Ontxenven's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Ontxenven's Holy Commandments

1. Erect three gold sculptures of Ontxenven on top of important buildings.

2. Always look after injured seals.

3. Never think about nebulae.

4. Run away if four monkeys approach from the west.

5. Do not chop down trees.