Xucktenwit is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, proud crab.

Xucktenwit created the planet Earth four years ago.

If you believe in Xucktenwit, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Xucktenwit, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Xucktenwit's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Xucktenwit's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never talk about fire.