Jabapp is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, unthoughtful mole.

Jabapp created the Andromeda Galaxy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jabapp, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Jabapp, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Jabapp's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Jabapp's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your arms yellow.

2. Hide from gray goats for they are unholy.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Retreat if four great tits approach from the south.

5. Never laugh near grasshopers.