Affetlit Janzanpin Megbudkim is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, prudent pig.

Affetlit Janzanpin Megbudkim created carbon five million years ago.

If you believe in Affetlit Janzanpin Megbudkim, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Affetlit Janzanpin Megbudkim, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Affetlit Janzanpin Megbudkim's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Affetlit Janzanpin Megbudkim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill aardvarks.

2. Never wear brown corsets.

3. Always treat tortoises with great respect.

4. Never eat melons.

5. Always help sick pigs.