Vigtagcuss is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, impressive duck.

Vigtagcuss created energy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vigtagcuss, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Vigtagcuss, he will turn you into a snail.

Vigtagcuss' most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Vigtagcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick monkeys.

2. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never paint your head green.

5. Always treat great tits with great respect.