Boghatgesshud Dissyograg is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, two-faced bird.

Boghatgesshud Dissyograg created viruses five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Boghatgesshud Dissyograg, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Boghatgesshud Dissyograg, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Boghatgesshud Dissyograg's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Boghatgesshud Dissyograg's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no sharks in a room before entering it.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. You must pray to Boghatgesshud Dissyograg five times a day.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Always look after injured dolphins.