Nulvogpin is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, stupid porpoise.

Nulvogpin created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nulvogpin, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Nulvogpin, it will refuse to believe in you.

Nulvogpin's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Nulvogpin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not dye your hair mauve.

4. Do not wear platinum on your body.

5. Never eat green fruit.