Tipbuncem is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, unfair gnu.

Tipbuncem created the planet Mars five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tipbuncem, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Tipbuncem, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Tipbuncem's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Tipbuncem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Worship no other gods but Tipbuncem.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Otters are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Fast once a month.