Hamgepvonk is a god.
It takes the form of a fat, self-assured
rat.
Hamgepvonk created the Large Magellanic Cloud two trillion years ago.
If you believe in
Hamgepvonk, it will ignore you.
If you do not believe in
Hamgepvonk, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.
Hamgepvonk's most sacred site is Katteri in India.
Hamgepvonk's Holy Commandments1. Always pray in complete darkness.
2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.
3. Hamgepvonk loves manatees, so they must be honoured.
4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.
5. Never talk about galaxies.