Padwabnar is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, proud human.

Padwabnar created the Sun six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Padwabnar, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Padwabnar, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Padwabnar's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Padwabnar's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Hide if five grasshopers approach from the north.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Pray towards the west.