Cunhitzakril Rulgilfon is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, loving meerkat.

Cunhitzakril Rulgilfon created Europe six million years ago.

If you believe in Cunhitzakril Rulgilfon, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cunhitzakril Rulgilfon, it will boil you in a big pot.

Cunhitzakril Rulgilfon's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Cunhitzakril Rulgilfon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never wear indigo kilts.

4. You must pray to Cunhitzakril Rulgilfon eight times a day.

5. Never eat green fruit.