Queegbotnig is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, selfish newt.

Queegbotnig created the planet Jupiter three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Queegbotnig, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Queegbotnig, it will turn you into a hamster.

Queegbotnig's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Queegbotnig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Queegbotnig's name in vain.

2. Never run in holy places.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Queegbotnig.

4. Do not kill capybaras.

5. Nematodes are not to be trusted.